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Welcome to the “Emotion Commotion Carnival,” where we’ll dive into the funhouse of our minds and tackle some tricky personal development obstacles: blame, projection, victimhood, and burying emotions. Grab your ticket and join us for a whimsical adventure through the carnival of self-discovery.
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Before we dive into the excitement of the carnival, let’s take a moment to understand the challenges that brought us here. Negative patterns like blame, projection, victimhood and burying emotions can turn our lives into a chaotic circus without even realizing it’s happening. These tendencies are not often recognized within oneself. After all, who wants to admit they’re projecting their own pain and hurt onto others?
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Who wants to recognize they’re quick action to point the finger towards others vs. taking a look in the mirror? Who wants to think of themselves as a victim; as if “it only happens to me?” And who wants to own up to the fact that they’re lacking in strength to face some fierce emotions that may be haunting you in your life?
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The quick answer is, no one wants to admit any of this. But let’s take a ride on the roller coaster of these patterns. Let’s understand better just how much each of these actions pull you down, hold you back and create unnecessary turmoil in your life.
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Carnival Challenges
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Now, let’s explore the carnival attractions that symbolize these negative patterns and understand how they impact our lives:
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Blame Booth: When we play the blame game, we’re like clowns juggling responsibility and ownership of our actions, tossing each one to everyone else and never catching any of them ourselves. We blame others for our failures, our flaws, our shortcomings, our anything and everything. And for what purpose?
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Projection Palace: In this hall of mirrors, we typically never like what we see. And although the sight is crystal clear, the moment we see pain, hurt, lack, or any negativity (about ourselves or our past), we will gladly and quickly take this view and project it onto someone else. We do this to seemingly protect ourselves from feeling pain and facing the truth… However, projecting your own emotions (whatever they may be) is avoiding the Truth of who you are and what is going on within you and your life. Projection becomes an attack on others: criticizing others for who they are (who we are not); or what they have (what we don’t have); or putting others down to lift yourself up (bullying); or wishing negative thoughts onto others because we can’t stand that they are happy (we are not happy). Whatever the case may be, it’s a vicious cycle and can only be broken when you recognize where it is all coming from. Peeling back the layers and doing what I like to call “owning your shit!”
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Victimhood Vortex: Getting caught in this vortex makes us feel like helpless spectators in our own lives, unable to break free from the cycle of negativity that we’ve placed upon ourselves. Yes you read that right…we do this to ourselves especially when things aren’t going well in our lives. We get down on ourselves and bring more of the same energy. Question is, do you really want this?
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Burying Emotions Big Top: Suppressing our feelings is like stuffing too many clowns into a tiny car—it might be funny at first, but eventually things will burst at the seams. And when the bursting occurs, watch out because it will be an explosion. The problem is, this explosion will not be a good one.
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But don’t worry, there’s a way out of this carnival maze! Just as every carnival has its ticket booth, where you exchange your fare for an adventure, we have solutions to exchange these negative patterns for positive growth. Let’s embark on a journey through the attractions that offer clarity, self- reflection, and positive change:
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Blame to Responsibility Ringmaster: Step right up and take control! Instead of pointing fingers at others, become the ringmaster of your life. Ask yourself, “How can I direct this show differently?” “What am I blaming others for?” “Why am I pushing this blame outwards and not looking inwards?”
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Overall, figure out the essence of your blame game. Is it a lack of self- esteem, the inability to own your issues, challenges, blocks? It’s critical to take time to understand what’s happening with yourself and to work on getting to a better place. A place of acceptance of whatever it is that you are choosing to blame others for. Accept you and all things about you. Learn from your failures and power through; appreciate the beauty of your flaws for they are what make you unique; evaluate your seeming shortcomings and see how they may actually be strengths!
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Projection to Self-Understanding Funhouse:
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When you catch yourself projecting, head to the funhouse and face the mirrors. Recognize that these reflections are your own insecurities, your own pain and hurt, your own chaos that you need to root through and straighten out. As a quick tool, try journaling as your funhouse map to navigate these distortions. Capture the details of your projections in writing. Look at each projection and jot down what the underlying message is for each one. Test yourself to see if you own your shit. Or do you toss it to someone else? How would you feel if others tossed their shit on you? Right?! It wouldn’t feel good, so be sure to do your part. Root through your shit, own it all and shift what’s needed to bring fulfillment to yourself.
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Victimhood to Empowerment Carousel: Hop on the empowerment carousel and take the reins. Take the victimhood energy and turn it around for yourself. Smack yourself across the face (energetically that is!) and wake up to realize that you do not have to be a victim. In fact, you are NOT a victim. You are living an experience in your life, whatever that may be, and it’s your choice to turn it around for the better. At the end of the day, you can choose to remain where you are in “oh woe is me” or you can put on your big girl/boy pants and step into a different mode; a more positive mode. Suck it up, buttercup! You are only a victim if you choose to be one. My suggestion is to choose to be a hero in your life. Pick yourself up and find the bright side because there is one!
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Burying Emotions Balloon Pop: Don’t let your emotions build up like balloons ready to burst. Face each emotion as it surfaces; pop that balloon before it creates havoc and pops you. Express your feelings. Talk to a fellow carnival- goer (trusted friend), write in your carnival diary (journal), or visit the fortune teller (professional help) if needed. Acknowledge and release what is happening in your world. Gain the courage and strength to have the difficult conversation. I promise you, these conversations aren’t so difficult once you’ve tried it once or twice. In fact, they empower you to be you and to be free of avoidance. It feels great; try it out!
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By embracing these carnival attractions, you’ll transform your emotional experience into a joyous ride. Here’s what you can expect from this adventure:
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Increased Ownership and Self-Responsibility: You’ll begin to recognize and catch yourself when you’re pointing the finger at someone other than you. You’ll be more attuned to your thoughts and behaviors, leading to a release, a healing, a necessary understanding of who you are so you are able to work through and move forward from whatever has been pulling you down. When you’re not blaming someone, you’re talking with yourself and rooting through whatever is bothering you in a healthy way.
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Improved Self-Vision: When you reflect back what you have been projecting onto others, you’ll have a much clearer vision as to the items, the experiences, the hurt, the pain, the everything which makes up who you are today. Many times seeing your own reflection is a wake up call. If you don’t like what you see, then work to improve your image (inside and outside). Stop projecting what you don’t like onto others; and start working to improve what you do see (and what you want to see).
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Empowerment and Resilience: With an empowered mindset, you’ll have the courage and strength to pick yourself up and to see all experiences in life through a different lens. Negative things do not happen to you; you create your own reality. What will you create next in your life’s carnival?
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Emotional Well-being: Pull your head out of the sand and face whatever it is that you’ve been hiding and running from. When you address and express your emotions, no matter how difficult or easy it is, you will be led to a more balanced and fulfilling experience in life. Fact!
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Even if we don’t want to admit it, most of us have visited these negative attractions before (hell yes, we all have)! Understanding each one and the role each play in your life (and why) is the first step to finding a healthier path. This takes patience, self-awareness and practice.
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I encourage you to watch my videos on social media and join our carnival community as we support each other in personal growth this month. It’s not always easy, but it’s an incredibly worthwhile journey. Let’s conquer the internal sabotage of these actions (blame, projection, victimhood, burying emotions) and get to a place of strength and confidence.
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Stay tuned for more. And let’s enjoy the Emotion Commotion Carnival!
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